Oh Hill yeah!
Photo Credit: Jeffrey Beall

This goddamn whore Hurricane Sandy is making things complicated. The bitch has forced me to put in work early on my Week Nine pieces, so excuse us for the lack of introductions. We are just gonna jump right into some Real Talk funk.

More after the jump:

A banged up T-Rich means a happy San Diego DEF
Photo Credit: Erik Drost

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on kickers and DEFs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top). We also include last week’s suggestions and full season results. Points are based on default Yahoo! settings.

No need for intros this week. Let’s just get right into my domination of the stream game. Work... about to be done.

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Photo Credit: Jamie Adams

After seven weeks in the books my record is exactly .500 (8-8-1). This week, we here at Sons of Roto are going to mix it up and put away the dime system (for now) and try and pick you a slew of winners by attacking every game on the board. Hopefully in doing so I can win back the favor of my following and rise substantially above this .500 mark. As always the picks are in bold.

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No Owen Heart
Photo Credit: Jeffrey Beall

Have an outside shot at the playoffs but can’t afford to lose too many games? Welcome to Trade Your Most Valuable Guys-ville, population: you.

A lot of people are leery of making trades, not wanting to become the “loser” of the trade. Well, if you are 3-4 or 2-5, you don’t have the luxury of sticking your nose up in the air. Sure some of you are below .500 due to some poor luck (bye weeks, facing the highest scoring teams, etc.). However, most of you aren’t that unlucky. The majority is simply yielding a mediocre team featuring one or two great players and a motley cast of supporting actors. For those sorry souls, a shakeup is needed. How do you create the shakeup? Not by offering your WR4 or RB depth, but by dangling your prized roster pieces. While it seems hard to trade the couple of people actually keeping your team above water, the right trades (aim for some good buy-low targets like Brandon Lloyd) are the only thing that can plug the holes on your sinking ship. Failure to make any big moves will still result in holes being plugged. Problem is, those holes will be in the middle of your arse and your opponents will be the ones doing the plugging.

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Don't Forsett About Me
Photo Credit: John Martinez Pavliga

First off I would like to say that Andrew Luck should now be considered a running back in standard fantasy leagues. Now that the elephant is out of the room, we can progress with our fantasy football lives. Eli Manning gets shit done and not a single TE this year has been “great.” Frustration continues on the whole FFB frontier, but think to yourself guys... "If I have a sub-.500 record in all twelve of my fantasy leagues, maybe I'm actually not good at this thing." Nope. It's all Matthew Stafford's fault and he will “turn it around” (cue chuckles from the Seattle defense).

Bye weeks have arrived and reared their ugly face for all to see. Even Cam Newton's horrific post-game sweater attire cannot fight the plague that sweeps through the fantasy football world towards the conclusion of each and every October. The crucial bye weeks fall around the end of October and, to be honest, they are just like Halloween: an event we can obviously and clearly see in the future, yet something we choose to do nothing about. Do we go grab Jeremy Kerley in Week Three before he is snatched up by the masses so we can just have him on the bench for weeks like this? Do we try to go all out this year and go for a group costume that is sure-fired to get us all some pussy on the night of the hallow? Nope. We instead rely on the talents of washed up DeAngelo Williams and resort to throwing together the “I'll-dress-like-a-Mormon” outfit for the fourth year in a row. Bye weeks are here, but pumpkin night still is over a week away. Things to do this week: Listen to Matt and go get your swag ready for the weekend. Here we go people!

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Tom Brady and co. should eat up the Jets
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

As per request, we here at Sons of Roto have implemented a dime system for your wagering plays. The dime scale ranges from five dimes to 100 dimes. For example, a bettor with a $50 minimum and $1,000 max will bet $100 on a 10 dime play, $500 on a 50 dime play, and a $1,000 on a 100 dime play. According to your bankroll, which naturally involves your minimum and maximum wagers, you should be able to gauge what to bet with regards to our dime play system. Thus far I, Luke Ryan, have delivered four out of six winning weeks, +$319 dollars or 31.9 dimes to a bettor with a $50 minimum and $1,000 max. This week, I am releasing our largest play of the season. Stay tuned for my biggest release of the season after the jump.

Photo Credit: Mike Morbeck

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on kickers and DEFs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top). We also include last week’s suggestions and full season results. Points are based on default Yahoo! settings.

We’re pretty much at the halfway mark of the fantasy football regular season, and if you haven’t hopped on the “Stream Pies” train yet, you best get on it now. Our DEF recommendations did work in Week Six, averaging 12 points between the three picks. The Browns in particular redeemed your boy after sucking back in Week Five. The kickers? They stay averaging double-digit points on the season.

Go ahead and keep sticking with those underwhelming week-to-week kickers and DEFs if you like. Matter of fact, track how your kicker and DEF are doing compared to mine. Do that for a couple of weeks and you’ll be following my words like a cursor.

More after the jump:

Even Pinocchio loves Woodhead
Photo Credit: Jack Newton

December 21st, 2012. The day the world will end. False. It could very well be sometime this coming week if the cities of San Diego and Philadelphia unite. Hell froze over for Phillip Rivers on Monday night. The NFL seems to be a crazy, mixed up, confusing, but ultimately satisfying orgasm of sports for a five month period.

We are getting closer and closer to the half way portion of the season and we are getting further and further from figuring anything relevant out about football. Has the Discount Double Check woken up the boys and will they lose again this season? Is Robert Griffin III this year's Cam Newton? Is Atlanta the worst 6-0 team in the league's history? Where oh where does Stuart Scott shop for his ties?

If your a frequent visitor to Depth Chart Digging, you can damn well admit that we have dished out some solid advice this year (see: Joique Bell, Shaun Draughn, Brandon Stokley and Andre Roberts). Each week may not throw out gems, but stay consistent and ride this horse all season and you will win championships. Follow me!

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...sucks
Photo Credit: John Martinez Pavliga

Josh Gordon led off the new and improved “NFL Real Talk” last week, and he proceeded to kill it in Week Six (three catches, 99 yards, TD). It’s a sign that I must continue with the format we used in our last episode, with the ultimate goal being that “NFL Real Talk” becomes the most useful fantasy football article on the ‘net. It honestly shouldn’t be that hard. After all, Sons of Roto only caters to competitive owners who don’t need someone to tell them that you should pick up Felix Jones this week. Nah son. We’re the Josh Gordon gloaters, the Randall Cobb crowers, and the Kyle Rudolph rabble-rousers. In other words, the idea is not to tell you what you already know, but rather point out shit that is actually useful and advantageous. We’re nice like that.

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Photo Credit: Keith Allison

Last week we took it on the chin for the first time all season. But rest assured, no one wants to make that money back for you more than I do. I believe in full disclosure so I think it’s in your best interest to know that I play every game I release. I’m of the opinion that it’s not fair if I’m not going to war with the very people playing my picks, so I’m feeling last week’s losses just as much as you are. Trust me. That said, we’re still above .500 in the record department(6-5-1) and are still in the green in winnings (+184 dollars). If it weren’t for Robert Griffin III getting knocked out and Joe McKnight returning a kickoff 103 yards to the house last weekend, we in all likelihood go 3-1 in Week Five. Either way, you can’t change the past, you can only hope to affect the future. So let me put the salesman talk aside, cut the jokes which curry my editor’s favor, and pick you some winners like I did the first three weeks.

My picks after the jump: