Photo Credit: Keith Allison

Yahoo! recently posted a big-ass picture of Adam Jones with the words “Adam Bomb” emblazoned over it. So you know what that means… it’s time to trade him.

Explanations after the jump:

Photo Credit: Keith Allison

Jason Hammel will be facing the Yankees in the Bronx in about an hour. Whenever a pitcher goes against the Yankees (especially in their home park), fantasy owners tend to be shook. Me? I’m streaming the shit out of Hammel tonight, and the odds are pretty good that our partnership will last past Monday (pause). Many of you are probably thinking, “B-B-But Starbonell! This is the same guy who has posted ERAs over 4.7 the last two years! Y-You’re kidding, right?”

Nope.

More after the jump:

A common sight for Cardinals fans
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

Welcome to another edition of “Lying, Whoring Numbers,” where the only “small sample size” is located in your pants. Burn!

Seriously though, I want you to keep reading in spite of the small penis joke.

More after the jump:

You want this? Follow the instructions below
Photo Credit: US Government

We have partnered with DailyJoust.com to give our users an opportunity to compete in Daily Fantasy games this baseball season and they have a $250 MLB Baseball Freeroll Tournament Friday April 27^th starting at 7pm EST.

Here are the details:

- Create your team with a 1 million dollar salary cap:  C, 1B/DH, 2B, 3B, SS, OF, OF, OF, SP.

- It's **FREE to enter and there are $250 in prizes up for grabs

Follow these 2 steps to play now:

1. CLICK HERE to register at DailyJoust and make your selections for the contest. Remember, IT'S FREE!

2.  Watch the live scoring on DailyJoust to see how your team stacks up against the competition.

Good luck!

**Must have less than 1 MLB win on DailyJoust to compete in contest.

Photo Credit: SD Dirk

Mark my words, pretty soon you will see a plethora of lame Bass jokes by fantasy writers with the sense of humor of a young Dave Coulier. Bass Fishing, Slapping The Bass, The Bass Effect... trust me, there’s gonna be a lot of wack jokes. Yet when you read those wack puns, just remember where you heard the name Anthony Bass first. From the people who brought you Lance Lynn comes another unheralded pitcher who warrants your attention like... um, an unreasonable detective who really, really wants to arrest your attention. Y-yeah.

More after the jump:

Somebody call Jonathon Niese’s surgeon
Photo Credit: slgckgc

Statistics and baseball go hand-in-hand, like “peanut butter” and “jelly,” or “smooth ass hustla” and “Starbonell.” However, there are numerous instances in which people (fantasy owners and writers alike) misuse certain statistics and turn those once innocent numbers into lying, filthy, whoring liars. With this column, we hope to go all Chris Brown on stats that get out of line.

You see, certain statistics can look great or terrible when they stand alone, but with the help of context, we can expose them as the lying pieces of shit that they are. So without further ado, your boy Kid Clutch, in association with “Do Work Productions,” invites you to the inaugural edition of “Lying, Whoring Numbers.”

More after the jump:

Like a Reimold Cowboy
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

With the waiver wire buzzing, MLB Real Talk is back discussing the long-term merits of players like Mike Aviles, Nolan Reimold, Kyle Drabek, and Jon Jay.

Work gets done after the jump:

Photo Credit: Future Atlas

Here at Sons of Roto, we do our very best to relay advanced baseball statistics in a way that makes them easy to understand. Yet we still get e-mails like this:

“From: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
To: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

You no make sense when rite. Numbers no like. Me angry. Me no read none no more.

Warmest Regards,
Every Person From The Bible Belt”

So to try to help our readers understand what all those wacky statistics we use are about, your boy Daddy Starbucks has decided to post an Advanced Stats Primer. Trust me, after reading this shit, you’ll be hooked. You have no idea how much fun it is to tell your fiancée how her ravioli dish is three wins below replacement level. Just imagine the laughs you’ll draw from your buddies when you explain that the isolated power you generate whilst masturbating is in elite territory. The possibilities are endless.

So without further ado, here are the most useful (and most used) advanced stats you will find discussed on this site.

Class begins after the jump:

Everybody chill the fuck out. He’s got this.
Photo Credit: SD Dirk

We’re talking starting pitchers again here on MLB Real Talk as a lot of popular names on draft day are suffering through slumps. Tim Lincecum, Matt Moore, Dan Haren, Yu Darvish... lots of dudes are getting lit up, and fantasy owners want answers. Worry not, your boy No-Star-Damus is here with his platinum-plated crystal ball.

More after the jump:

Don’t be afraid to play a Rusty Trumbo
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

It’s an under-owned/under-appreciated edition of Real Talk, where we take the orphans of fantasy baseball, tuck them deep into our bosom, and try to get owners like you to give them a chance.

I feel like Sally Struthers up in this bitch.

Mo’ Real Talk after the jump: