FredEx won't be making any deliveries soon
Photo Credit: Ed Yourdon 

Don Brown, PT, DPT is a physical therapist with a ton of experience in sports injuries. Unlike most injury reports you find on the web from fantasy "experts," Don actually knows the human body and what it takes to come back from a wide range of injuries. His knowledge is vital to fantasy owners looking for real advice on players who are hurt, and you are very lucky to be getting these nuggets of gold from Mr. Brown. Say thank you.

Fred Jackson went down with a sprained LCL in the Bills' embarrassing opening week beating at the hands of the Jets. If you haven’t watched the tape, it’s pretty ugly looking, and he’s probably lucky he didn’t completely shred his knee. MRI results Monday were inconclusive, which isn’t uncommon so soon after an injury as the swelling in his knee clouds the image. The Bills have set an initial timetable of three-to-eight weeks for his return, with Coach Chan Gailey admitting that it will likely take longer than three, but hopefully less than eight weeks to get FredEx back in business.

The LCL is the ligament on the outside of the knee that provides stability. You put lots of stress on this area any time you make a cut or plant your feet, something an NFL running back does all game long. A sprain is technically a tear, the severity of which varies, but with the amount of swelling in the knee (so much so that the MRI was difficult to read) the damage is likely significant. It also would not surprise me if there’s a torn meniscus or additional damage as well that hasn’t been fully discerned on the MRI. The timeline for recovery can vary from two-to-12 weeks depending on the grade of the injury, so the vague timeline of three-to-eight weeks given by the Bills is reasonable given the current information.

So what’s a fantasy owner to do here? We'll tell you after the jump:

You spent $60 on this nerdwad?
Photo Credit: Astanhope

If you paid top dollar for Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers, congratulations... you just wasted your money. The play of Tony Romo, Matt Ryan, Robert Griffin III in Week One proves that you didn’t need to go crazy on the top tier QBs in order to get fantastic production at the position. Yes it’s just one game, but clearly the NFL continues to be a pass-heavy league that will see plenty of signal-callers put up numbers every week. Sure Rodgers and Brady will finish the season among the very best at the QB position, but for a way cheaper price, you could’ve gotten pretty comparable numbers.

Aside from the litany of great QB performances, there were plenty of interesting developments around the fantasy football landscape. So take my hand (don’t worry, I’m not a creepy sexual assaulter, though I do drive a shady van and am willing to offer you a bounty of candy) and join me on a wild ride through Week One in the NFL.

More after the jump:

Don’t Cross The Mendoza Line
Photo Credit: Keith Allison 

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30 percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top).

More after the jump:

No One Is Gonna Hold The Texans Back From Stomping All Over The Dolphins
Photo Credit: AJ Guel

They say money can’t buy happiness. Well, you should see the smile on my fucking face on on a Fall Sunday. And yes, we’re talking about NFL gambling. Want to know my strategy? First off, you bet, you don’t gamble. Betting is making the best educated and informed decision you can. Gambling is what my college roommate “Pussy Titus” used to do. “Pussy Titus” wasn’t actually a pussy when it came to gambling. He was more of a meathead idiot without the muscles. “Pussy Titus” gambled on games with little to no information at all. Guess what? It didn’t work for him and it won’t work for you.

Most weeks I’ll usually bet three games. If I’m great, I win three out of three. If I’m good, I win two out of three. Yes. Here and there you’re going to take your lumps. You can’t win every bet, but then again no one can. But if you’re disciplined, you can make money. I’ve been betting the NFL for eight seasons now and have made some serious coin in six. My bets range anywhere from fifty dollars to a thousand, so by my wager you’ll be able to gauge my confidence. What I’m selling you, you can’t buy. I’m selling you the world’s rarest commodity: certainty in an uncertain world. I’m so confident I won’t get murdered in a dark alley for these picks that I want you to go out and buy a car. Buy a new house. Go into debt. Why? Because you're about to make bank.

More after the jump:

Great Britton
Photo Credit: Keith Allison 

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30 percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top).

More after the jump:

The Gift Of Facing Gabbert
Photo Credit: Tiscionem510 

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on kickers and DEF teams who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top).We also include last week’s suggestions and full season results. Points are based on default Yahoo! settings.

Last year in “Stream Pies,” we offered up DEF recommendations that, as a whole, averaged enough points to be worth starting every week in 12-team leagues. We also ushered in the Jason Hanson era and got you all on the Dan Bailey train. This year? We’re dreaming big.

While “Stream Pies” was able to prove that you do not need to stubbornly draft and stick with a kicker or DEF all season, we plan on taking it one step further. The goal is to show our readers that you would have to be a goddamn fool to stick by just one kicker or DEF all season.

You see, kickers and DEF are the red-headed stepchildren of fantasy football rosters. Owners don’t think about them and most of the time could care less about what these ragamuffins do on a weekly basis. The last thing they want to do is monitor these unwanted seeds and squeeze the most out of them. However, that thinking is shortsighted. What people don’t understand is that giving just a little bit of care to these dumpster babies can give an extra edge of 10 or more points per week. Don’t look at it as “caring” for your unwanted stepchildren, but rather “using” them to get that government money (or in this case, fantasy points) and stay ahead of the curve.

We are so confident in our ability to earn you more points from your DEF and kicker, that we are starting “Stream Pies” in Week One this season, just so you can see for yourself that a DEF or kicker that no one in your league owns will actually outperform what you drafted in the very first set of games.

So without further ado, it’s time to put in work. More after the jump:

It Ain’t About You, It’s About ME-guel
Photo Credit: Keith Allison 

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30 percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top).

More after the jump:

It’s September, Might As Well Roll The Dice-K
Photo Credit: Keith Allison 

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30 percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top).

More after the jump:

Feel Free To Catch VD This Draft Season
Photo Credit: John Martinez Pavliga

Tight end year in and year out makes or breaks more fantasy squads than any other position. It’s the “X” factor on your degenerately named team that you either address or you don’t. I look at them like dogs. Or as I so affectionately refer to them, bitches. If you have a loyal bitch, they will retrieve more balls than Belladonna in a gangbang. Now that we got that out of the way, let’s get to it.

More after the jump:

Even This Dude Is Happy To See Starbonell’s Cheat Sheet Has Finally Gone Live
Photo Credit: Matt Seppings

Feel free to finally schedule that draft or auction because the Holy Grail of cheat sheets is finally here. No defenses, no kickers... just pure ass-kicking mayhem of the top 250 QBs, RBs, WRs, and TEs.

More after the jump: