Are you in a league where Saves are hard to come by? Are you having troubles prying away a Closer from an opposing manager? Do you need someone to help stave off Blackbeard when you go boating for the fourth of July? The Pirates have the answers to your questions. Just call in to the Pittsburgh saves-a-thon hot line 1-800-SAVE-PIT. There is a 98% chance you can talk to the Hanrahan. Octavio Dotel is on fire and there have already been rumors of him going to the Marlins. He will be dealt by the July 31st deadline and Joel Hanrahan will be there to pick up the Saves. Supplies are limited, call in now. no comments

Remember the golden age of football video games? Bernie Kosar could throw the ball 100 yards down field, Flipper Anderson would jump off the screen to catch a pass, Bo Jackson was untouchable, you didn't want to touch Christian Okoye and Jake Delhomme could win a game by throwing into triple coverage. Everything was so easy. The same can be said about the Tight End position this year, if your league plays with 14 or fewer teams. There is a Tight End for everybody and there is only one way to screw up, by paying too much or drafting one too early. I don't see much of a difference between the top seven players so you won't find MDS paying for the most expensive TE. There isn't much of a drop off between the tiers until we get down to tier six. In a league that has more than 14 teams, I would be sure to lock up one of the top 14 or 15 tight ends. With that, let's jump into some tiered rankings.

An early look into the quarterbacks who can throw a pigskin a quarter mile. To the tiers! The grouping of similarly valued players helps us label a drop off in player value. If I had 99 problems making these rankings, choosing between Aaron Rodgers and Drew Brees wouldn't be one. For me, that is a waste of time. Instead I asked myself (since I'm the smartest guy I know) better and more interesting questions. We'll get into these inquiries as we move along, but first, I want to ask any of you if you have come across any kind of time travel stuff on cyberspace? Ohhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I'd take state.

Your complete guide to fantasy football is available at your local magazine rack. I went to Barnes & Noble today and picked up their last copy. I seen it at the grocery store too. Just skip to page 14 and 16 for the best parts. I participated in the Expert's Mock Draft and let's just say I won. Zero of the other eleven experts mentioned my team in the Q & A with Team Owners, so it. is. on. I will reign fire down on these people for big timing MDS. If you'd like to order the magazine online, CLICK HERE

We all know Felix Jones, the Cowboy's electric speed demon at Running Back. One can't help, but be reminded of Chris Johnson when he busts out a 18 yard run around the edge. His 5.9 YPC from last season, his No.1 RB label and recent rumors of bulking up have him ranked 55th overall here, 41st overall here, 22nd among RB here and listed as a sleeper at ESPN (they don't get the bold type). For me, it's nice to see him being hyped up at well frequented websites, because I hate Felix Jones and I will never, ever, draft him again. I could go off on Felix for days, but I do have some rational thoughts that I'd like to get across before this turns into a death threat. Do you want Felix Jones on your team? That is a rhetorical question, because the answer is a resounding NO!

What are you going to do if you're stuck with the 7th pick in a snake draft? CJ, AP, MJD, Rice, Gore and Turner are gone. Andre Johnson? Would you take a thirty-sum dollar WR after a handful of $55-$70 RB were just selected? You want Steven Jackson after back surgery? Want to show off your cojones and take Mendenhall, Greene or Mathews? I know you are smart enough to avoid a QB in the first and second round. You don't have to worry about not having a top six pick in auction drafts. Everyone is available and players are drafted at their true price rather than where they fall. Snake drafts are a thing of the past and Cash Rules Everything in an Auction Man. How are you spending your dollar dollar bills y'all?

Darrius Heyward-Bey. Just saying that name makes some people nauseous and some violently ill. GHB was likely involved in making Heyward-Bey the 7th choice in the 2009 NFL draft. The intoxicating effects of DHB had Al Davis raving one minute and sleeping the next. Al woke up to find a salty taste in his mouth, an empty feeling inside and a 9-124-1 line from his prized wide receiver. Even with the embarrassment that comes from waking up with your pants around your ankles, Al is still drinking the Kool-Aid. I'm not sure what it is, maybe someone slipped me a mickey, but ole MDS is starting to warm up and feel the same fuzzy feelings for Darrius.

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Zack Greinke is hanging with a bad crowd. When you think of the reigning AL Cy Young Award winner, you don't picture him mingling with fantasy hooligans like Luis Atilano, Nick Blackburn, John Lannan and Brad Bergesen. Looking at his Contact Percentages, that is exactly what he is doing. Is Greinke a bad seed or a product of his environment? Do we turn a blind eye to his actions? Do we send him packing like those lazy kids on the reality TV show, World's Strictest Parents? Fantasy owners are growing tired of Greinke's behavior on the mound and they have turned to Dr. Phil MDS for answers.