Even Bobby Budnick would salute Cecil Shorts

So this is the last edition of “NFL Real Talk” for the 2012 fantasy football season (cue the song “Taps”). With this week marking the deadline to make trades (in most leagues) and the final set of byes, the matchup and buy/sell portions of this piece will be irrelevant. And let’s be honest, if at this stage of the season you still need someone to tell you what to do, you probably aren’t winning a championship anytime soon.

It’s always sad penning the last article of a season... wait, that’s entirely false. It’s actually really awesome because it gives me more time to make babies and wrestle bears for sport. On that note, so long suckas.

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Smith is Less’n
Photo Credit: BrokenSphere

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on kickers and DEFs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top). We also include last week’s suggestions and full season results. Points are based on default Yahoo! settings.

The Redskins stopped the hot streak we were having with defenses over the past few weeks, but that hasn’t affected your boy Big Poppa Pockets. There’s still plenty of work to be done and with the playoffs looming, you need me now more than ever. The edge you gain here by maximizing your kicker and DEF spots could be the difference between a weekly win or loss, so heed these words of wisdom suckas.

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Become a Morgan Donor
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

Election Day 2012 has come and gone and for the general public. It's been as frustrating and annoying as watching a Philadelphia Eagles football match. I refer to it is a match because when Michael Vick and the Eagles have the football, it is on the turf more often then a soccer match in Britain.

Sit and ask yourself which player is the biggest “must-start” tool in the league this year? Aaron Rodgers? Arian Foster? Wrong and wrong. Look no further then the windy city (and no we're not talking about the many talents of Jay Cutler) and the defense which resides in the depths of Soldier Field. 'Da Bears take their show on the road too. The Bears defense is strong enough to guide a team to the fantasy playoffs and they are dynamic enough to see themselves in New Orleans.

How do you get better at fantasy football? Pick up players before they are relevant. Acquire photos of your rival's girlfriend and put it as your team logo. Always be a student of this crazy game. The long lines at the polls should have been combatted by lengthy, in-depth research of fantasy knowledge. It was also probably escorted by scouring the waiver wire seven times just to make sure that Joique Bell really is not there. Read up and fill up. Time to make that playoff push.

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The face many of you have when you look at your fantasy record
Photo Credit: saratogajean

As we enter Week 10, fantasy advice becomes less relevant. Whether it’s because your team is out of the playoff picture or because there are simply no free agents left who might be real difference makers, there really is no reason for most of you to read about fantasy football until next season.

Alas, we still have a job to do on “NFL Real Talk,” and work shall be done. Fortunately, those of you still vying for a playoff spot and angling for a deep playoff run have come to the right place.

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Crybaby Cam should be picked on
Photo Credit: Pantherfan11

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on kickers and DEFs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top). We also include last week’s suggestions and full season results. Points are based on default Yahoo! settings.

Our “Stream Pies” recommendations keep on rolling. Our top pick at DEF for Week Eight scored 22 points in standard Yahoo! leagues, bringing our points-per-recommendations up to 9.14 points (or, 11th best in fantasy). The kickers keep doing work as well, keeping their average above nine for the season. We keep telling you that no matter who your DEF/kicker combination is (save, of course, for the Chicago Bears), you are ultimately better off rolling with our under-owned weekly picks.

It’s not too late to jump on the “Stream Pies” Plane. Why a plane and not a bandwagon? Well, we ain’t rolling around in a shitty-ass wagon like some frontiersmen in Oregon Trail. ‘Round here, we rolling in style.

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Oh Hill yeah!
Photo Credit: Jeffrey Beall

This goddamn whore Hurricane Sandy is making things complicated. The bitch has forced me to put in work early on my Week Nine pieces, so excuse us for the lack of introductions. We are just gonna jump right into some Real Talk funk.

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A banged up T-Rich means a happy San Diego DEF
Photo Credit: Erik Drost

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on kickers and DEFs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top). We also include last week’s suggestions and full season results. Points are based on default Yahoo! settings.

No need for intros this week. Let’s just get right into my domination of the stream game. Work... about to be done.

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Photo Credit: Jamie Adams

After seven weeks in the books my record is exactly .500 (8-8-1). This week, we here at Sons of Roto are going to mix it up and put away the dime system (for now) and try and pick you a slew of winners by attacking every game on the board. Hopefully in doing so I can win back the favor of my following and rise substantially above this .500 mark. As always the picks are in bold.

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No Owen Heart
Photo Credit: Jeffrey Beall

Have an outside shot at the playoffs but can’t afford to lose too many games? Welcome to Trade Your Most Valuable Guys-ville, population: you.

A lot of people are leery of making trades, not wanting to become the “loser” of the trade. Well, if you are 3-4 or 2-5, you don’t have the luxury of sticking your nose up in the air. Sure some of you are below .500 due to some poor luck (bye weeks, facing the highest scoring teams, etc.). However, most of you aren’t that unlucky. The majority is simply yielding a mediocre team featuring one or two great players and a motley cast of supporting actors. For those sorry souls, a shakeup is needed. How do you create the shakeup? Not by offering your WR4 or RB depth, but by dangling your prized roster pieces. While it seems hard to trade the couple of people actually keeping your team above water, the right trades (aim for some good buy-low targets like Brandon Lloyd) are the only thing that can plug the holes on your sinking ship. Failure to make any big moves will still result in holes being plugged. Problem is, those holes will be in the middle of your arse and your opponents will be the ones doing the plugging.

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Don't Forsett About Me
Photo Credit: John Martinez Pavliga

First off I would like to say that Andrew Luck should now be considered a running back in standard fantasy leagues. Now that the elephant is out of the room, we can progress with our fantasy football lives. Eli Manning gets shit done and not a single TE this year has been “great.” Frustration continues on the whole FFB frontier, but think to yourself guys... "If I have a sub-.500 record in all twelve of my fantasy leagues, maybe I'm actually not good at this thing." Nope. It's all Matthew Stafford's fault and he will “turn it around” (cue chuckles from the Seattle defense).

Bye weeks have arrived and reared their ugly face for all to see. Even Cam Newton's horrific post-game sweater attire cannot fight the plague that sweeps through the fantasy football world towards the conclusion of each and every October. The crucial bye weeks fall around the end of October and, to be honest, they are just like Halloween: an event we can obviously and clearly see in the future, yet something we choose to do nothing about. Do we go grab Jeremy Kerley in Week Three before he is snatched up by the masses so we can just have him on the bench for weeks like this? Do we try to go all out this year and go for a group costume that is sure-fired to get us all some pussy on the night of the hallow? Nope. We instead rely on the talents of washed up DeAngelo Williams and resort to throwing together the “I'll-dress-like-a-Mormon” outfit for the fourth year in a row. Bye weeks are here, but pumpkin night still is over a week away. Things to do this week: Listen to Matt and go get your swag ready for the weekend. Here we go people!

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