Hope You Learned Your Smith N’ Lesson
Photo Credit: John Martinez Pavliga

I’m 2-2 in all four of my leagues. It’s a fascinating spot to be in. On one hand, a lot of us end up there via bad luck (facing the highest scoring team of the week often). On the other, a lot of scrub suckas find their way to that record by sheer luck (facing shitty teams). From a strategic standpoint, it’s not a bad spot to be in. You are essentially one or two games back from the top team and there are still nine weeks of regular season play left. And hey, at least you aren’t 1-3 like some of the bums in your league.

Yet a 2-2 record is hardly a cue for laurel resting. Momentum in fantasy football changes hands more often than naked pictures of your mom, so as quickly as you can jump into the race, you can fall out of it. This is the time to be aggressive. Shop deals to all the owners in your league and drop the dead weight sitting on your roster.

The good news is that fantasy owners are starting to get wet over the idea of making trades, so throw some offers out there and see what’s up. A couple of smart deals (not necessarily big ones) here, a few sly pickups there, and you can turn a 2-2 slumper into a 9-4 thumper.

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Go Binns drinking
Photo Credit: Navin75

And Booooooom goes the dynamite! That wasn't the sound of Tony Romo coming back to earth, but instead the sudden outburst of fantasy points. They were plentiful this weekend. Garbage touchdowns galore (Brandon Lloyd and Dwayne Bowe) and points through the air we have been waiting for all season. The presence of Ed Hochuli's massively mammoth musculated arms have direct correlation towards our boys chucking the ball down the field. Ryan Fitzpatrick saw the glare coming off those zebra-stripes and decided to go HAM all over New England (who cares about picks anyways, he has the most TDs in the NFL boys!).

All I can say is holy shit Andre Roberts! Did we really just see that performance he put down on Sunday in the desert? He was listed in the opening article of the season when he was a nobody. Fantasy owners had more interest in Chris Chambers (yes, he is still a non-retired free agent in case you are wondering) than Roberts. Oh my have the tables turned. Now he's owned in nearly 20% of leagues.

Did we just mention the “gun show” in back-to-back posts? Yes. Are these articles helping you win mid-season fantasy matchups? Hell yes my friends. Just hop on board.

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The masses wildly await the next suggestion from Luke Ryan...
Photo Credit: drewzhrodague

$1,040.00. That’s what you’re up right now if you’ve taken my recommended wagers this season. My record? Five wins, one loss, one tie. I’m not bragging, Those are the facts. But who cares about what I’ve done for you. Why do I say this? Because it’s not about what I’ve done for you, it’s about what I will continue to do for you (which is win).

Okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I’ve got a confession. I don’t just want to win for you. I want to do it with some panache. I want to impress you. But for you to be impressed, for you tell more people about me, for you to tell more people about this site, I’ve got to stay hotter than a stove burning in an oven. And that’s what I intend to do.

If you’ve been betting with me, you’ve been able to have your cake and eat it too. What does that mean in terms of the context of gambling? Well, until now I’ve been giving you some of the best teams to bet on week-to-week. Whether you’ve had the foresight to see that these teams were of the highest of quality is between you and your savings account. Either you made money on my picks or you bet on teams that weren’t the best. Last week I gave you the Falcons and the Texans. I knew they were the two best teams at the time; that’s why I gave them to you. Whether you actually knew this… I can’t say. I did. So what do I know this week? This week, I don’t like the supposed power teams. Why? Every week in the NFL is different. A team that was hot last week might not be this week. This week, I like one game and one game only. And it’s not a team you would expect.

Find out my pick of the week after the jump:

Free-falling
Photo Credit: 1 Photo Guy

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on kickers and DEFs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top). We also include last week’s suggestions and full season results. Points are based on default Yahoo! settings.

Many thought I was crazy for going with the atrocious Saints defense last week, but they netted nine points, which was superior to defensive units like the 49ers, Eagles, and Texans. In other words, your boy did work. The Saints almost had a fumble recovery for a TD as well, so their performance was actually a bit of a disappointment for yours truly.

Our kickers, though they had a relatively “soft” week by our standards, are still averaging double-digits per recommendation.

This is just the beginning. As the season wears on and the matchups become more important, the value of the information you will find here on “Stream Pies” cannot is immeasurable. Sure you can stick with one defense and kicker all year and mail that shit in, but wouldn’t you rather maximize these spots week-in and week-out? Your choice.

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Be ready to sweat Dez nuts
Photo Credit: JovieG

Dez Bryant came into the season with a shit ton of hype, but has amassed just 13 catches for 164 yards and no TDs through three games. There isn’t a lot of optimism surrounding his value thanks to Dallas’ depth of weapons and the balance they are showing with the run game, but don’t get it twisted, Dez is on the cusp of greatness. Savvy fantasy heads would be wise to send out offers for his services during this buy-low opportunity.

One of the most explosive big WRs in football, Bryant has stupidly been underused by the Cowboys up until this point. That shouldn’t continue. Bryant was shown on the sideline jawing at receivers coach Jimmy Robinson over a lack of chances to make plays. He then recorded 47 yards in the second half after that display (in the first half, he had just 15). Normally, people would consider this a total diva act by a crybaby WR whining about not getting the ball enough. Well, if those antics lead to more opportunities, then cry me a goddamn river.

Sure the Cowboys are 2-1, but they are in the tough NFC East and will need to play at a much higher level the rest of the season just to keep pace. DeMarco Murray needs to be involved, but in the passing game, Bryant will be the focus. Jason Witten ain’t what he used to be and Miles Austin is one tweaked hammy away from a set of crutches. Even if Austin stays healthy, Bryant is by far the best playmaker on this team and offensive guru Jason Garrett will find ways to get the ball in his hands.

This may be your last chance to get Bryant on a discount, so even if you have to backhand your own mother to get him, make it happen. Dez would be proud.

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CJ2K + 33 Carries = 45 Yards
Photo Credit: vermillion

Lessons of Week Three in the NFL: Always, always start your big boys and start listening to Papa Matt. The chance has long passed for you to grab shotgun onboard the Arizona Cardinals bandwagon. If you don't jump on this bus now, you will find yourself as the irrelevant hostage in the back of the bus while Sandra Bullock drives us to victory baby! Sure, Kevin Kolb ain't no Keanu Reeves, but he can sure play quarterback this season.

Fantasy glory has returned to Maurice Jones-Drew, Jamaal Charles and Larry Fitzgerald. And thank god, because we didn't truly want to put them in the dungeon that Chris Johnson has kept solely to himself for over a year now. Johnson has eroded into the lowliest, subpar level that can be imagined by an athlete. It is a joke and I would be shocked to see the Allen Wranglers even throwing him a bone when his contract expires.

If we talk about the Cards, we have to throw in the holy-men from the Big Easy. I'm shocked. Shocked at how horrible their defense is. An Ed Hochuli sighting is more likely then a Saints win right now. But as much as we get ticked off about our teams, we know that our real money and effort is put into making sure Ryan Succop notched that last field goal to give us a 1.03 point win.

We told you about the Arizona Cardinals. Did you listen? No. We told you about Brandon Stokley. Did you listen? No, you laughed. Listen up everybody, here comes the truth.

More after the jump:

Shook
Photo Credit: Jeffrey Beall

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on kickers and DEFs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top).We also include last week’s suggestions and full season results. Points are based on default Yahoo! settings.

The impossible has happened: Ryan Tannehill was good. The Dolphins gave up 35 points on the road and ended up costing three points just to start in fantasy. Atrocious. Fortunately, Washington’s 12-point performance redeemed me a bit. Though the two-week average of five points-per-recommendation at DEF looks pretty wack, the fact that the first two weeks of NFL action are the toughest to predict have me feeling optimistic. This week, we got a sure-fire defensive suggestion. Our kickers you ask? They’re just averaging 11.2 points-per-recommendation is all. No big deal.

Once the kickers and DEFs both start firing as one, your boy Big Poppa Pockets will have convinced you to abandon your current options in favor of playing the stream game. Week Three is usually around the time I catch fire as scenarios are easier to project, so hope you can handle the hard stuff. This shit right here will put hair on your tits.

More after the jump:

Stoked
Photo Credit: Walt Johnson/USAF

Two weeks in the books means we're starting to figure out some trends out and getting our questions answered. It's nice and calm. We are settling into our every-week roster. Even our kicker is a solid weapon. WRONG.

Fantasy sucks because our questions can never be answered. Asking yourself if and when will Larry Fitzgerald awake from his slumber is not the correct path. Questioning whether Jamaal Charles could blow the football further then the amount of rushing yards he put up on Sunday? It is not the move. The fact is, your damn well starting these boys next week. Hell, everybody who had Chris Johnson last year still convinced themselves to put Mr. Holdout in their roster on every given Sunday.

The frustration of screaming at the television, throwing pillows at the wall, and waking up angry Monday morning is a common trend that can easily be remedied with a steady dose of being an active fantasy owner who looks at trends and stats. Go create answers to problems and stop asking questions.

I have to apologize. This article would have made press earlier folks, but I was too busy picking up Kevin Kolb and buckling my seatbelt on the Arizona Cardinals bandwagon (editor's/Starbonell's note: I also aided in the delay of posting, but instead of dudes named Kevin, I was picking up females named Chastitty).

Listen up people, there's more after the jump:

He won't be smiling come Sunday night
Photo Credit: Peter Martorano

If you took my advice in Week One you made money. bottom-line. While you may have wanted to murder shit like Christian Bale in “American Psycho,” you must understand that we are bettors who must strive to be more disciplined than that. Week One is about learning who is who and what is what. Now that we have a better sense of what some of these teams really are, I’m ready to strap on the big boy pants and make some bets that you might not be ready for. The bets I’m about to give you might scare. Don't worry. You have to remember it’s not about what these teams were last year, it’s about who they are this year. At one point, I would have licked the ass crack of Jessica Simpson (this being in her “Dukes of Hazzard” days), but in 2012 Jessica Simpson’s ass crack is about as appealing as a Mounds bar you got four Halloweens ago. What am I getting at? It’s all about what these teams have done for us lately, so without further ado… let’s get to it.

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For a good Tynes call...
Photo Credit: stephen_d_luke 

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on kickers and DEFs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top).We also include last week’s suggestions and full season results. Points are based on default Yahoo! settings.

The first week of NFL action is the hardest to predict. Teams that looked horrible in the preseason suddenly come to life, players with high expectations fall violently down to Earth, and fantasy football title hopes become crushed like a bag of cocaine at Charlie Sheen’s crib. Yet Week One for “Stream Pies” wasn’t too shabby. Even with Robert Griffin III going off on New Orleans (one of our defensive picks), the Saints still managed to block a kick and turn it into a TD, preventing themselves from being a total embarrassment. Our plucked from obscurity kickers also came up big, with both options combining for 27 points. Sure our DEFs could’ve been a lot better, but that will pick up as the season moves along. All in all, a pretty solid opener, and there’s a lot more where that came from.

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