Have Percy
Photo Credit: Bobak Ha’Eri

When it comes to Percy Harvin, the two most common words used to shit on his fantasy value are “snap count.” Everyone is up in arms over the fact that he’s spending more time than he should on the sideline, which would make sense if homeboy wasn’t averaging over seven touches a game.

That’s right, a WR who has the ball in his hands 7.25 times a game is apparently not involved enough to make a fantasy impact... except that he is. Harvin is averaging 78.25 yards per game. That’s more than Roddy White, Rob Gronkowski, Jordy Nelson, Reggie Wayne, and countless other players who are widely considered more valuable than Harvin.

Yes Harvin isn’t on the field for every offensive play, but the team has gone to great lengths to feature him in a number of different packages as a receiver and runner. The Vikings understand they need to get the ball in his hands, but with his migraine and injury history, who can blame them for not putting him on the field for every single play? Now it’s true that Harvin has yet to score this year (outside of a kickoff return TD) and the team hasn’t been using him much in the red zone, which is disappointing. Still, it’s clear that he’s the second best offensive threat on the team behind Adrian Peterson and the opportunities will be there for him to do work.

The point is, fantasy value ultimately comes down to touches and what you do with those touches. Not only is Harvin getting his hands on the ball, but the team has specific plays mapped out where he’s the featured weapon and tries to get him out in the open field. That sounds pretty damn good for his fantasy value if you ask me.
Snap count? More like “awwww snap he’s a great buy-low target!”

Mo’ Real Talk after the jump:

Sorry Tim Hightower, Ryan is about Torain on your parade.
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

Week Four is in the books, and with it comes the ever so infuriating bye weeks. Week Five has Cleveland, Baltimore, Miami, Washington, St.Louis, and Dallas on rest so make sure to make the appropriate lineup changes. With that said, let’s look at some of the action Week Four had to offer. Again, only the most relevant topics will be covered. Make the jump to see what’s up:

R.A. “The Rugged Man” Dickey Was a Stream Heartthrob
Photo Credit: slgckgc

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top).

It was a long arduous fantasy baseball season and since we spent most of it telling you who to pick up for spot starts, it’s only right we look back and see how we fared in 2011.

So here is the final “Stream Pies” line for 2011:

71 Wins (205 starts), 1,241.2 IP, 4.18 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, 6.14 K/9

Now you might look at those numbers and think “big f’ing deal.” Sure, these numbers aren’t that great when you think about players you want to draft, but keep in mind that these are the cumulative totals of players we recommended that were available in less than 30-percent of Y! leagues. Also, our pitchers scored wins about 35 percent of the time, which is good for about 11-12 wins if we are talking about a pitcher who makes 34 starts. So right off the bat we’re netting you the efforts of a double-digit winning pitcher, but what about the rest of the numbers you ask?

Comparatively speaking, here’s a breakdown of players owned in far more leagues that posted numbers as good or worse than our lesser-known recommendations:

Pitchers owned in at least 80 percent of Y! leagues
Ubaldo Jimenez: 10 wins, 4.68 ERA, 1.40 WHIP, 8.60 K/9
Max Scherzer: 15 wins, 4.43 ERA, 1.35 WHIP, 8.03 K/9
Roy Oswalt: 9 wins, 3.69 ERA, 1.34 WHIP, 6.02 K/9
Chad Billingsley: 11 wins, 4.21 ERA, 1.45 WHIP, 7.28 K/9

Pitchers owned in 50-79 percent of Y! leagues
Ryan Dempster: 10 wins, 4.80 ERA, 1.45 WHIP, 8.50 K/9
Trevor Cahill: 12 wins, 4.16 ERA, 1.43 WHIP, 6.37 K/9
Ricky Nolasco: 10 wins, 4.67 ERA, 1.40 WHIP, 6.47 K/9
Francisco Liriano: 9 wins, 5.09 ERA, 1.49 WHIP, 7.50 K/9
Brett Myers: 7 wins, 4.46 ERA, 1.31 WHIP, 6.67 K/9
John Danks: 8 wins, 4.33 ERA, 1.34 WHIP, 7.13 K/9

There were a bunch of other names who were popular on draft day and underperformed our “Stream Pies” recommendations (Jonathan Sanchez, Phil Hughes, Rick Porcello), but you get the idea.

So what have we learned this year from “Stream Pies?” Well, we learned that R.A. Dickey is a streaming beast. We also discovered that sometimes a cigar is indeed simply a cigar (unless it’s sitting in a dude’s mouth... then it’s a cock). The most important lesson learned here, however, is that you don’t need to spend big dollars or high draft picks to yield a competitive fantasy pitching staff.

Hopefully “Stream Pies” helped you achieve a championship. If not, well, I’m still sleeping good tonight.

Bradford will be drinking his own tears, not milk, on Sunday
Photo Credit: USDAgov

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on kickers and DEF teams who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top). Below our recommendations are last week’s and full season results. Points are based on default Yahoo! settings.

Both Andrew and Starbonell killed it in Week Two, proving that their penises are both long and girthy. Damn they’re good.

Want to see what they have in store for Week Four? Make the jump chump:

Even Jason Campbell can do work against the Pats pass defense
Photo Credit: Jeffrey Beall

Normally we do a recap of how all the picks went from last week, but sometimes the best thing to do in life is to just move on and forget something happened. That is what we will do this week. All you need to know about the picks from last week is almost every player underperformed. We are starting fresh with some new picks this week.

The deep sleepers for Week Four are after the jump:

The gift of Gaff’
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

Kenny Britt. I owned that mu’fucka in just about every league I’m in. “True Britt” started the season in a way championship-caliber fantasy players start off the season... like a champion. Kenny Britt. Gets hurt so bad on a play that he literally throws the football out of his possession like it was a hand grenade. Kenny Fucking Britt.

Since there is obviously no god, let’s just say thank “air” there’s NFL Real Talk.

More after the j-u-m-p:

            Starbonell Station

              Gore Loser

  Wed. Sept. 28th at 7:30 PM Central

 Starbonell and MDS talk Frank Gore (not Al, but he's  a loser too), Victor Cruz, Ryan Mathews, Dustin  Keller, Sam Bradford and much more.

Rex Sells
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

Before we get started on how we are going to calm your suicidal thoughts after an 0-2 start in your fantasy league, let’s take a look at how we did last week.

More after the jump:

Tony hasn't been hurt this bad since Carrie Underwood messed up his ride
Photo Credit: storyspinn

There have been a number of big name fantasy players going down with injuries these first two weeks of the season, and SoR’s resident physical therapist is here to help sort some of it out. If you’re an owner (or would like to be) of Tony Romo, Felix Jones, Miles Austin, Aaron Hernandez or Arian Foster, I suggest you pay attention. It’s a decidedly Cowboy-heavy injury lineup, which is music to this Giants fan’s ears. As always, if you have any injury questions or concerns about any players not discussed here, feel free to further the discussion in the comments section or shoot me an email. Let’s get down to business.

Most 0-2 owners are feeling like this
Photo Credit: Creative Donkey

After Week Two, fantasy owners tend to think they have their team figured out. If you’re off to a 2-0 start, you’re inner dialogue probably goes something like this:

“You’re amazing. You’ve got them right where you want them. Maybe a small move here, minor trade there, and you’ll have this league locked up. You’re so hot. Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.”

If you’re 1-1, the conversation in your mind likely sounds like this:

“Alright. N-n-n-no reason to get too overwhelmed. We can still get through this. Just shore up the weaknesses, deal from our strengths, and we’ll be gravy.”

If you’re 0-2, chances are this is running through your head:

“I f’ing hate fantasy football.”

Wherever you are on your league’s totem pole, realize this: it’s never too early to start thinking seriously about whether your team is suited for a title run (particularly if you are off to a slow start). There’s no need to sit and wait a week or two later, because by then, the damage may be irrevocable. With that in mind, join me as we sift through some of the more interesting story lines that rose from the ashes of Week Two.

More after the jump: