Photo Credit: Connormah

It all started as a small joke made by Starbonell, followed by a few mentions in my daily Weatherology Reports. These seemingly harmless comments snowballed as news began to pour in day-by-day. First we just knew that Chyna had made a new porno, then she was taking it up the butt; then the trailer was released, and now after "fan demand" the full video has been released today on Vivid.com. If that is something you are interested in then you know where to go. TMZ.com is even reporting that Chyna wants to make this a new career and sign a contract to put out more DVDs. We need to stop the madness. Even X-pac has stated that he is embarassed. When X-pac thinks you went too far down the skeeziness meter, then you know you have big time problems. Personally, I want to apologize to all of America for spreading the news to my legions of followers. I probably couldn't have stopped it, but giving it all the huge promotion of being mentioned in one of my columns surely didn't do any good. So this will be the last mention of this atrocity in one of my updates. Nothing on the fantasy weather forecast should give you any problems so lets just try and move past this final news break.

no comments

Josh Willingham supports creepy beards.
Photo Credit: dbking

Awwww shit! MLB Real Talk is in full effect on this fine Monday morning with guest appearances from Josh Willingham, Charlie Blackmon, Nyjer Morgan, and Edinson Volquez. Holy hammocks! I'm hard with excitement!

no comments

Adam Dunn struck out three times in four at bats on Sunday... against Brad Penny and the Tigers. Ouch! Dunn's K% is up to 42% now. Ouch! I just want to show you some quick math when dealing with Adam Dunn and his lack of batted balls. Dunn has 225 Plate Appearances. Let's subtract his 36 walks and 78 strikeouts. Dunn's batted ball total is 111. An average MLB player would have 164 batted balls (8.5% BB%, 20.5% K%). That's a difference of 53 batted balls, over 50 less chances for Dunn to hit a HR because he takes so many walks and strikes out so much this season. Ouch! Not only is he striking out more often, his power has been cut in half. His 9.4% HR/FB% is a far cry from his usual 21%-22%. His ISO (.136) is 130 points below his norm (career .236 ISO). All this while moving to a more hitter friendly environment. While I don't worry much about the power, he's Adam Dunn after all, I do worry about the lack on contact. That 42% K% is brutal and his O-Contact% is nearly 20% higher than his career O-Contact%. If he starts to miss those outside pitches like he usually does, that 42% K% could get worse. That's a scary thought. Dunn was o-ranked as the 30th best player heading into Y! drafts, he's now owned in 87% of leagues. That means 13% of the fantasy baseball populous has given up on the slugger. He's currently has only 5 HR to his name, which means he's on pace for 14 or 15 HR. I don't think anyone expects Dunn to hit south of 20 HR, but I guess we'll see about that. It's time for the daily poll, how many Home Runs will Adam Dunn hit this season?

no comments

I heard Vogelsong learned how to throw a gyroball while in Japan.
Photo Credit: 利用者:計記録

Ryan Vogelsong (48%) continued to make his case as a full fledged member of the Giants rotation. Vogelsong conquered the Rockies on Sunday with only one glove. He outdueled Jason Hammel, going eight strong innings [4 H, BB, ER, 7 K]. Barry Zito will make a rehab start in San Jose (single A ball) on Monday, but no one is looking forward to his return. Vogelsong has allowed only 3 ER in his past 6 starts [39.3 IP, 30 H, 8 BB, 29 K]. During these six starts he posted a 0.97 WHIP and 0.69 ERA. Barry Zito has a 1.54 WHIP and 6.23 ERA (13 IP) this season. The Giants would be better off if Zito developed a case of "John Lackey elbow" in his rehab start. Fuck a Barry Zito.

More of Sunday's MLB action after the break.

no comments

Like this MS-13 gang member, Felipe Paulino is packing heat.
Photo Credit: ANDERBLACK

Felipe Paulino has been a pretty terrible fantasy pitcher for his career. With a lifetime 5.69 ERA and 1.58 WHIP in the majors, he’s been perfectly useless. A lot of you may have never even heard of this guy, whose name sounds more “cocaine dealer” than “fantasy hero.” Paulino came up with the Astros organization, was dealt to Colorado during the offseason, and was designated for assignment before being traded to Kansas City. Since joining the Royals, Paulino has pitched 9.1 innings effective innings (one start): 0 ERs, 5 Hs (all singles), 0 BBs, 7 Ks. Since it’s only 9.1 innings, an obligatory “SAMPLE SIZE ALERT!” has to be issued here to satiate the stat nerd-lingers out there. Still, Paulino’s talent is hard to ignore. He’s averaging 95.3 mph on his fastball and throws a nasty slider that makes for a perfect strikeout pitch. His problem has been his control (4.52 BB/9 last year), but he’s throwing more first-pitch strikes than ever (62.0 F-Strike%) and is also netting a good amount of swings-and-misses (10.2 SwStr%). Now to be 100% real, there is a good chance that Paulino will blow up in his next start (tomorrow against Toronto). His fastball can be hittable at times and he can get really wild (like lampshade-on-the-head wild), so a short outing could be just around the corner. Even so, there’s a fair amount of strikeout upside to be had here and Kauffman Stadium is a pitcher-friendly park. If he is truly taking a step forward with his command, we’re talking SP3-4 potential here. Fortunately for you, his ownership rate sits at a one-percent clip and you honestly have until after his next start (and probably even longer) to pick him up. Even if he does get rocked tomorrow, he’s worth monitoring over the rest of the season.

And if he does have a great performance tomorrow... well, just send your thank you payments to the following address:

Starbonell Mansion
1000 Winner's Circle
Victory-ville, NY 69420

no comments

Photo Credit: Joe Loong

There looks to be nothing but sunny skies in the forecast for Monday. None of the games on the schedule have any potential problems in the forecast. However with the sun out across the country there is always the chance of two scoops of raisins being dumped from the sky. The sun seems to get a few chuckles out of that, and always attacks early in the morning when people are barely awake and defenseless. So assuming you don't suffer a raisin induced concussion, you'll be able to set your lineups without any fears of the dreaded PPD.

no comments

Earlier today I was asked an interesting question via Twitter by @_purple_stuff:

"@andrewakamds who do you like the least from these midtier 1B options - Lind, Butler, Morse. I cant hold all three (I'm stacked elsewhere)"

I can sympathize, I'm also "stacked elsewhere". But getting to the question, I was somewhat surprised by my own answer. I think I would move Billy Butler and hold onto Adam Lind and Mike Morse. I would attempt to trade Butler, but if no one showed any interest I would show him the door. I'm still surprised by that. I actually have Butler on one team, but he's definitely not my favorite First Baseman. He's not even my favorite Butler. I need Home Runs from my 1B (the league in which I own Butler uses SLG instead of HR). Baby Huey has 4 HR through 210 AB. Todd Helton has seven home runs, even Lyle Overbay has five. Billy is currently ranked 21st among all First Baseman at Yahoo. He does a good job of getting on base, but he hits so few Fly Balls (career 34% FB%) and his HR/FB% is pathetic for a corner infielder (career 9.2%). Citing that 9.2% HR/FB% is giving him credit, four of five years it's been below 9%. His HR/FB% is sitting at 6.8% now. Billy Butler is comprised solely of baby fat. I answered the question, but I'm guessing it's an unpopular choice. Voice your opinion, which mid-tier 1B do you like least? Lind, Butler or Morse?

You can hit me up on Tweeter if you have any questions or comments, the Sons of Roto Twitter account is mainly for plugging our content. I'm sure the others (left hand sidebar) would be happy to hear from you too. -Cheers

no comments

Photo Credit: btwashburn

Once again, the only game with a high chance of potential weather problems is the Rockies versus the Giants in San Francisco. Both teams are used to this though, as thunderstorms have been forecast in the area for the first two games in this series. Yet neither had any delays. Still, make sure to check in before game time to make the final decisions for your lineup. Weather can be hard to predict, but I can guarantee that Giants GM Brian Sabean will still be bitching, moaning, whining and crying about losing Buster Posey for the year. Maybe next time he rolls by a Walgreens he can pick up some tissues and an umbrella.

COL vs. SF: 42% chance of thunderstorms. 

no comments

During the latest episode of Starbonell Station, Starbs mentioned that he may be interested in making a David Wright for Brandon Morrow (plus change I'm assuming) trade. As someone who could use help in the Outfield (Jose Bautista could slide to OF for me) this intrigued me, but frankly I'm worried about David Wright. I'm worried about what Starbs would want in return, I'm worried about Wright's slipping production and I'm worried about his wonky back. Maybe it's just me, but I see a downward trend in his strikeout rate. The K% fell off a cliff in 2009 (18.8% to 26.2%) and it's regressed each year since (27.4% in '10, 29.5% in '11). His line drive percentage took a nose dive in 2010 (it fell nearly 7%) and hasn't recovered. He's currently disabled with a stress fracture in his back and will be shut down for at least three more weeks. What an ugly situation. Starbs paid $42 for Wright in the Blog Wars auction draft, which was a fair price, but the question is: what would you pay for Wright if we drafted today?

no comments

Listen my children and you shall hear of all the stolen bases of Ben Revere

For every death, there is a birth... or so they say. The disabling of Jason Kubel and Jim Thome cleared a path for the speedy Ben Revere. The Twins prospect (No. 4 or No. 5 depending on where you look) was hitting .303 with 8 SB in AAA before his promotion. He possesses very little to no power, but he makes all kinds of contact (8.3% K%). Revere has averaged over 46 SB per season while playing in the minors. He's fast. For those who have a need for speed, Revere should get plenty of playing time over the next few weeks. I'd expect him to hit .275-.280 over a large sample of At Bats. He's currently owned in 0% of Y! leagues. You may not write a poem about Ben Revere, but he should be of use. I'm taking him for a midnight ride, he was a recent addition to the Hart Foundation.

More MLB action from Friday after the break.

no comments