Once again Chone Figgins has turned his back on us in the early going.
Photo Credit: ozmafan

Sometimes in our world of make believe baseball we need to do things most owners wouldn't do. If we want that winning edge we have to go against the grain, sometimes we have to do the unthinkable. With the news of Chipper Jones glimping (gangsta limping) around the locker room (adductor strain) I had to take the plunge and jump into the icy shallows that is known as Chone Figgins' stat line. This was a forced move, so in order to warm myself up I'm going to convince some of you to suffer with me. I'm going to plug Chone Figgins! Hey I plugged Alcides Escobar yesterday, let's dig this hole just a bit deeper. After the break we'll discuss the stomach churning options that go by the names of Figgins, Magglio Ordonez and Phil Hughes aka Fill Huggies.

Though he ain’t as good as his STL days, “Pineiro The Ghost” is a good play versus the Mets.
Photo Credit: shgmom56

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top). 

With inter-league play starting up again, it’s tempting for fantasy owners to just blindly pick any AL hurler facing an NL team. People see the success pitchers have switching from the AL to NL, but there are plenty of examples of pitchers sucking after they change leagues (just ask Barry Zito). So before getting all big for yo’ britches and ditching this column to make your own inter-league stream plays, make sure you at least consult with Daddy Ducats.

For games played on Friday, 6/17/11
Joel Pineiro @NYM
I don’t like Pineiro at all, but the Mets’ lineup is overachieving and a frustrating ground-ball pitcher is just what the doctor ordered to bring them down to Earth. Plus, NY is worse at home this season and Pineiro pitched well against them in his last year as a Cardinal.

Freddy Garcia @CHC
He has definitely pitched over his head to date, but Garcia has been pretty crafty in mixing in all his pitches (only throws fastball 36.2 percent of time) and the Cubs have been a horror-show lately. With the way the Yanks are swinging the bats, Garcia is a great bet for a dub.

Rick Porcello @COL
Though the Rockies’ bats are starting to come alive and Porcello is pitching at hitter-friendly Coors Field, I’m still rolling with Slick Rick. The Tigers have been playing well and Porcello’s ground-ball ways should keep the ball in the park and lead to a useful start.

“Stream Pies” Recommendation Results for 2011
7 Wins (15 starts), 97.2 IP, 2.86 ERA, 1.11 WHIP, 5.16 K/9

Pack your bag and say goodbye to your buddy, you're going to the show.
Photo Credit: Angel_Blue

Riots broke out in Vancouver, Brandon Funston exploded in his pants, the Pacific Northwest is a buzz and for good reason. The Seattle Mariners have called up their prized prospect Dustin Ackley. The coachable, young talent doesn't have much left to prove in the minors. It's time for Ackley to do what Adam Moore and Jeff Clement couldn't; come up and hit at SAFECO. We're discussing Ackley's potential production for 2011, the excellent opportunity to Buy Low on Aaron Hill and Alcides Escobar's emerging bat in a Middle Infielder packed rendition of MLB Real Talk. The jump awaits.

Sometimes, you have to buy cheap to make ends meet.
Photo Credit: Liz West 

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top). 

Just a couple of players worthy of a Kid Clutch pick-up for Thursday, but that’s how the story goes sometimes.

For games played on Thursday, 6/16/11
James McDonald @HOU
He’s been putting a ton of guys on base lately, but he owned the Astros back on May 8th (6 IP, 0 ERs, 3 Hs, 2 BBs, 8 Ks). Despite the risk involved in deploying him, I’m eating off the McDonald Dollar Menu for this start. I’ve been picking on Houston a lot here on “Stream Pies,” but playing the matchups is part of being a master stream-stress.

R.A. Dickey @ATL
He owns a 2.23 ERA since May 20th and the Braves offense has sucked lately.

“Stream Pies” Recommendation Results for 2011
6 Wins (13 starts), 85.1 IP, 2.64 ERA, 1.09 WHIP, 5.38 K/9

The Top 100 Fantasy Baseballers have been updated. Matt Kemp makes a push for the top spot, Zack Greinke's 11.25 K/9 and 1.31 BB/9 goes unmatched, Matt Holliday gets the baby powder treatment, Manny makes a donation and much more. I don't know how much longer I can keep Evan Longoria in the top two rounds, you might want to spend a little time with him before he gets Matt Holliday'd. I don't half step, the rankings are paid in full. I suggest you take a look. [Top 100 Baseballers]

Daddy StarBucks throws out his two cents all the time, but he would never throw this Penny your way.
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top).

Just a couple of bums available for Wednesday’s games. I suppose I could’ve thrown in Brad Penny to give it length, but ultimately, the real Starbonell would never associate himself with a knuckle-head like Penny. Here on “Stream Pies,” we only talk about players who Big Poppa Pockets himself would roster. In the event of a “no starter to recommend” day, please be aware that there will be NO POST (this way you don’t go killing yourselves because you think something happened to me).

For games played on Wednesday, 6/15/11
Luke Hochevar @OAK
Hochevar has sucked balls every time I’ve decided to spot start him. In four starts for my Starbonell Station League roster, he added 25.2 innings worth of a 5.61 ERA with just 10 Ks and no wins. But I’m going back to the well of death again. He pitched well against Oakland in his May 7th start against them (7 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 0 BBs, 3 Ks) and since the A’s are ranked dead last in runs scored in the AL, I’m willing to give him another shot. Hochevar has had many opportunites to join Starbonell’s Streamer Legion of Doom, but he’s failed several key tests (with the primary one being to not suck balls). If he lets me down again, he could earn himself a lifetime ban here on “Stream Pies.”

Chris Narveson @CHC
The Cubs are have been just awful lately, and Narveson has strikeout ability (8.01 K/9 and 10.7 SwStr%). That’s enough for me.

“Stream Pies” Recommendation Results for 2011
4 Wins (10 starts), 59.1 IP, 2.88 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, 5.92 K/9

Jonathon “The Nose” Niese is on a roll.
Photo Credit: slgckgc
 

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the best streamers starting at the top).

Even if you play in a deeper league, there are still a few stream-worthy options widely available for Tuesday’s games. So get a napkin ready, because we’re busing “Stream Pies” all over this bitch:

For games played on Tuesday, 6/14/11
Jonathon Niese @ATL
The term “sweet smell of success” is an appropriate phrase we can use when describing Niese and his enormous schnoz. Over his last three starts, Niese has struck out 21 in 21.2 innings while twirling a 1.25 ERA and 1.15 WHIP. One of those games happened to be against the Braves, who have a good number of hackers in their lineup that can help pad the strikeout numbers of opposing pitchers. While I tend to be somewhat dubious about streaming pitchers against lineups they just faced, I’m willing to look the other way here (mostly because I can’t stand looking at Niese’s weird face).

Carlos Villanueva vs. BAL
Villanueva should really be owned in more than 10-percent of Yahoo! leagues. He’s generating a good amount of swings and misses (9.4 SwStr%), is keeping the walks in check (2.70 BB/9), and is inducing weak contact (14.7 LD% and 17.2 IFFB%). The fact that he’s facing Mark Reynolds guarantees at least three strikeouts as well.

Tim Wakefield @TB
Yeah he’s 44, but Wakefield is still worth streaming when the matchup is right. Fortunately, he’s produced a border-line (at least in the eyes of baseball writers) Cy Young campaign for his career against Tampa Bay (21-6, 230.2 IP, 3.78 ERA, 1.22 WHIP, 157 Ks). Since the Rays offense isn’t exactly Murderer’s Row, I have faith in Wakefield adding to his already glorious vs. TB resume.

Jeff Karstens @HOU
Appartently it’s a “weird face” edition of “Stream Pies” as Karstens’ ugly mug has made its way onto this list. One thing that is attractive, however, is his stream-friendly matchup against the offensively challenged Astros. Karstens has also been on a roll, allowing two or fewer earned runs in each of his last six starts.

“Stream Pies” Recommendation Results for 2011
2 Wins (six starts), 38.1 IP, 3.29 ERA, 1.20 WHIP, 5.17 K/9

If Prado can't hack it in the locker room, he'd never survive a weekend at MDS'
Photo Credit: SD Dirk

There’s been a flurry of injuries over the last couple weeks, and as the resident medical expert for the SoR I’m contractually obligated to educate the masses on what to expect. Remember, if you have questions I haven’t addressed in the article, drop it in the comments section and I’ll get to it eventually (you’re welcome).

Let’s do this.

Martin Prado was placed on the DL for a staph infection in his calf. This happens from time to time in professional sports because you have a bunch of large, sweaty, dirty men showering together with open wounds (sounds like MDS’s wet dream). When treated early in a young and healthy individual such as Prado, these things are usually no big deal. Left untreated, however, staph infections can cause severe pain, loss of limbs and can even be a threat to life. That’s right, Martin Prado might not survive the rest of the season, trade him ASAP (to me please). I’m kidding (about the dying part). They debrided (cut out) the infected area on his calf and will no doubt fill him up with loads of antibiotics to kill off the remaining infection.

His return to the field will depend upon how quickly the infection clears and the wound heals. Again, young healthy guys like Prado typically heal well, and I’d expect him to return in a 2-4 week timetable. The Braves will likely err on the side of caution here and probably keep him out of the filthy Chipper Jones chewing tobacco laden Braves locker room for more than 2 weeks, but unless there’s an unforeseen setback he shouldn’t miss more than a month tops. Outside of his timing at the plate, there’s no real risk of a recurring injury here either, this isn’t an orthopedic issue. Worry not Prado owners, he will be fine.

After the break: B.Colon, J.Morneau, J.Kubel, K.McClellan, B.Belt and A.Soriano

Start Carlos Carrasco against the Yankees? Damn right.
Photo Credit: Rory Connell

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the best streamers starting at the top).

The early results on my stream recommendations are predictably favorable. Yesterday, the four pitchers I advocated for came through and totaled the following line:

1 Win (four starts), 26.1 IP, 2.73 ERA, 1.18 WHIP, 3.76 K/9

The strikeout rate is low, but it's very difficult to pull off a ton of Ks when you are picking from largely unowned players. We'll keep track all season of how my stream picks pan out, just to illustrate how great I am. You're welcome.

For games played on Monday, 6/13/11
Jason Vargas vs. LAA
I’ll never trust Vargas as a true 12-team mixed option, but his control and home park make him a viable streamer when the matchup is right. Facing an Angels offense that is struggling to score runs (despite their seven run effort yesterday), this a good opportunity to make use of Vargas.

Paul Maholm vs. NYM
I didn’t recommend teammate James McDonald in his matchup versus the Mutts (W, 6 IP, 2 ERs, 8 Hs, 3 BBs, 2 Ks), but Maholm gets a shout here. I’ve come to enjoy the consistency that comes with streaming Maholm. Sure he won’t strike many people out (5.90 K/9), only has two wins on the season, and was rocked by the Mets just two starts ago (5.2 IP, 6 ERs, 8 Hs, 2 BBs, 2 Ks), but he hasn’t let me down yet in stream starts so I’m willing to go to the well again.

Carlos Carrasco @NYY
He’s coming off a gem versus the Twins and despite the unimpressive 4.52 ERA and 1.31 WHIP on the season, he’s been a pretty good stream bet at times. I’m always a fan of young pitchers who can throw a changeup, particularly when they have good velocity on their fastball (92.5 mph). Carrasco is netting a solid 49.0 GB% and has the stuff to shut down a lineup when it’s all working for him. Even though it’s the Yankees, New York has been known to loaf it against pitchers they’ve never seen before, so I’m liking the odds of a useful start here.

I Googled "Brandon Lyon" and this guy was the best Pitcher who appeared.
Photo Credit: apparently Brandon Lyon's web cam

Brandon Lyon is so bad that numerical values cannot define his ineptitude. The same day we witnessed Brandon Morrow drop down a 18.69 ERA, we seen Brandon Lyon's ERA reach Infinite. The very day we had to sit and watch Colby Lewis offer up a 6.75 WHIP, we seen Brandon Lyon's WHIP stretch to Infinite. Lyon's ERA and WHIP knew no bounds on Saturday, they were the stars of the Never Ending Story.

When Atlanta and Houston took to overtime last night the score was 2 - 2. Nine innings weren't enough to declare a winner, but it would take only one inning to declare a wiener. That wiener was Brandon Lyon. Brandon took the ball in the top of the 10th and promptly gave up a single and a stolen base to Jordan Schaefer. He then walked Dan Uggla, a man of many disappointments himself. Up came Brian McCann with men on first and second. A three-run blast to deep right confirmed what we all suspected, Brandon Lyon is really bad. If all that weren't enough Chipper Jones doubled off the forsaken Pitcher before he was pulled off the mound. In four At Bats the Braves were a triple short of a cycle against Lyon, the very man who is supposedly being eased back into the role of Closer, the game saver.

Easing Brandon Lyon back into the ninth inning is like easing a [insert large object] into a [insert human orifice]. In two of his last three appearances he's failed to record an out. We're not talking about walking two batters before a phone call was made to the bullpen, we're talking about 7 H, 2 BB and 7 ER. Seven runs crossed the plate without him recording on out. Seven! Even Mike McCoy, Toronto's reserve infielder, recorded three outs against a Red Sox lineup that piled 16 runs against his ball club in one day.

After four straight appearances with Earned Runs attached to his name, Brandon Lyon is the not-so-proud owner of a 10.22 ERA and 2.35 WHIP. Brandon Lyon is the George Thorogood of Major League Baseball. Brandon Lyon drinks alone and he is bad to the bone. I described my disbelief in Brad Mills' statement the day before, but it's time for you to voice your opinion. Is Brad Mills crazy? Do the owners of Mark Melancon have anything to fear? Will Brandon Lyon record another Save this season?