This guy is filthy, but he's no Dice man.

It's feel a little strange to salute a man of half-Iran, half-Japanese descent. Aside from the momentary feeling of tribalism and the nuisance of not being about to draft John Rocker, all systems are go for the latest import from the Far East. The scouts love him, the numbers are superb, but the masses are still baffled by Dice K's gyro-ball. One man's ignorance is a million dollar man's profit. Let's do the impossible; let's project the unknown. Today's forecast: sunny with a chance of 185 Ks.

Photo Credit: meddygarnet

Think your neighbor who was fired from his job and had his house foreclosed on is in bad shape? Well some baseball players making as little as $414,000.00 don't even have a home... on a major league starting lineup. That's right. Think about that before you get all "Wah, times are tough for me in this economy." Fortunately, there may be hope for some of these unfortunate souls.

Below is a list of players who don't quite have an everyday role carved out, but who could very well develop into "Homeless Heroes." Let's hope life gets a little easier for these suffering individuals. More after the jump:

Photo Credit: Keith Allison

We already went into great detail about why Adrian Gonzalez is an overrated fantasy option, but your boy Dudley Do Work isn't done shitting on overvalued 1Bs. The next player locked into the crosshairs? The Wizard of Hos' himself: Eric Hosmer. Find out what makes Hosmer a player to avoid in drafts/auctions after the jump:

That's no Blue Steel.
Photo Credit: Keith Allison, Flickr

Courtesy of MockDraftCentral.com...

1 Matt Kemp
2 Albert Pujols
3 Miguel Cabrera
4 Jose Bautista
5 Troy Tulowitzki
6 Justin Verlander

Possible names for team six: Just-in Scrupulous, Just-in Sane, Just-in Visable. Maybe later in the season the team can change names to Just-in Jured. After all, Verlander is a pitcher who has thrown over 1,300 Innings (at 95 mph mind you) in six seasons. I think you know where this is going. Justin Verlander is overrated, not only as a first round selection, but even as a Top 3 Starting Pitcher. Fans of JV will not like this hit piece; fans of Francisco Liriano may enjoy this though. That's what we call "fair and balanced" around here. That's your cue to click "Read More".

"Bryce Harper, Bryce Harper, Bryce Harper playing the harp. Harpo Marx playing the Jews harp.*BH*, BH! You're my DBesignated Hitter!" 
Photo Credit: Bryan Horowitz, Flickr
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OUTFIELD PROSPECT RANKINGS

2011 graduates included Mike Trout, Desmond Jennings, Trayvon Robinson, Domonic Brown, Yonder Alonso, Ben Revere, Fernando Martinez, Lucas Duda, Eric Thames, J.D. Martinez, Ryan Kalish, Dayan Viciedo, Michael Saunders, Charlie Blackmon, Jason Bourgeois, Brian Bogusevic, Jose Constanza, Alex Presley, Allen Craig and Andy Dirks.  That’s a pretty impressive graduating class.

Photo Credit: Keith Allison

The hype machine enveloped Adrian Gonzalez last year and fantasy owners expected other-worldly power numbers. “He’ll win the MVP!” some clamored. “He’s a demigod put on this earth to mash taters!” others yelled. “I’d totally let him bang me! In a platonic way!” another chimed in. Yeah A-Gone love was at an all-time high, but the Gonzalez we saw in Boston was eerily similar in fantasy production to the guy in San Diego.

San Diego (2010): 31 HRs, .213 ISO, 16.4 HR/FB

Boston (2011): 27 HRs, .210 ISO, 16.4 HR/FB

W-w-wait. But the power was supposed... a-and Fenway Park, but... left-handed?

Collect yourself and join me after the jump:

Photo Credit: Thom Sheridan

Okay, so your boy Stats All Folks hasn’t even made a rough cheat sheet and the only thing I’ve done so far is rank catchers. Regardless, I’m comfortable saying that Carlos Santana is a first round caliber fantasy option. Crazy? Not really. Position scarcity is a bitch, and Santana provides an incredible advantage at a position that generally produces mediocre-at-best results. Santana’s power potential is tremendous, but the real reason he’s set to be such a diesel option is his playing time. Last year the San-Man had 63 more PAs than Victor Martinez (who mostly DH’d) and came to the plate 225 more times than Mike Napoli, who is widely considered the second best fantasy catcher. That’s a huge advantage to have as a fantasy owner since most backstops have a hard time reaching the 500 PA plateau. The Indians have very little offensive upside and they have no choice but to stick Santana at first or DH just to keep his bat in the lineup everyday.

So Santana clearly gets more PAs than any other catcher, but you need a great bat to go with all those trips to the plate in order to warrant a first round selection. Fortunately for the Cleveland backstop, he’s coming off a season in which he posted a .217 ISO, 16.0 HR/FB, and 14.7 BB% in his first full campaign. Pretty fucking awesome. Yes Santana hit just .239, but his BA should rise to at least the .260 range in 2012. His groundball rates were way up from his minor league numbers while his line drive percentage fell well below his marks in the minors. Couple that with a .263 BABIP and the fact that Santana has been a pretty good contact hitter throughout his pro career, and it’s easy to see why a BA spike is on the horizon. Of course, the real reason we are coverting Santana is the power. Dude rocked 27 HRs last year and at age 25 (26 in April) there is certainly room for his already great power production to grow.

Sure one can make the argument that V-Mart might catch him in PAs this year since he is heading towards strict DH duties in 2012, but keep in mind that he is 32 and has dealt with some nagging injuries the last two years (while also enduring a serious power drop-off last year). Think Napoli poses much of a threat to Santana’s position as the top fantasy catcher? Unless you believe he’s about to make an extra 150-200 PAs appear out of thin air, he’s really no match for Santana. The Rangers are committed to Mitch Moreland as their first baseman and it would be pretty ridiculous for Napoli to improve on his .312 ISO (.249 career) and .320 BA (.2464) from last year. In other words, Napoli peaked in ‘11 and while he is still an elite fantasy backstop, the PA discrepancy between he and Santana and the fact that he is due to come back down to earth in 2012 make Napoli the clearly inferior option.

So let’s review. We have a player still not in his prime who is capable of hitting 30 or more HRs with 100 RBIs and 90-100 runs thanks to his abundant playing time. This same player is coming off a season in which he had more PAs than elite players like Albert Pujols, Jose Bautista, and Ryan Braun. Oh, and they also happen to play a position that generally sees its top 12 players net around 500 PAs (or, over 150 less than what our potential first rounder will net us if healthy). Let us also not forget that this position he plays is one that most people straight-up expect modest stats from. Even the staunchest position scarcity critic can’t front on Santana. If you had a shortstop with Santana’s power potential, they would be seen as at worst a second round target. Catcher is a thinner position in my opinion simply because they don’t play as often as other position players, so when you see a player who mans that position who is being given everyday ABs, you have to seriously boost them up your rankings.

You won’t need to spend a first rounder to net Santana as a late-third round pick should be good enough to secure his services. I’m simply saying that the type of production I’m expecting him to throw up should be good enough to make him a top 12 fantasy player this season. Believe that.

2012 Sleeper Right Here
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top).

Just a couple of days left until the end of the fantasy baseball season. We’ll recap the season results and show you just how valuable the advice here on “Stream Pies” has been. Until then, make sure you maximize the shit out of your innings because even over the last day or two, championships can be determined.

For games played Tuesday, September 27th
Jake Westbrook @HOU

Henderson Alvarez @CHW

Chris Capuano vs. CIN

Jarrod Parker vs. LAD

For games played Wednesday, September 28th
Brad Peacock @FLA

Carl Pavano vs. KC

Joe Saunders @LAD

Drew Pomeranz @SF

Alfredo Simon vs. BOS

“Stream Pies” Recommendation Results for 2011
69 Wins (193 starts), 1,172.1 IP, 4.13 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, 6.16 K/9

It’s crunch time... or “give yourself head” time
Photo Credit: Mohamed Ouda

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top).

With so little time left in the season, I stepped up the number of recommendations in order to help you catch up in innings pitched. Obviously, I’m walking more of a tightrope by putting more names on here, but it’s cool because I’m a stand up guy who’s brave, fearless, and humble as shit.

More after the jump:

Need pitching help? Let ole’ Homer bail you out...
Photo Credit: Wknight94

At “Stream Pies,” we are serving up gooey loads of knowledge. Here, we’ll provide invaluable streaming advice on SPs who are owned in less than 30-percent of Yahoo! leagues. We list the options in order of best option to “least-best” option (with the strongest recommendations starting at the top).

For games played Tuesday, September 20th
Homer Bailey vs. HOU

For games played Wednesday, September 21st
Dustin McGowan vs. LAA

For games played Thursday, September 22nd
Henderson Alvarez vs. LAA

For games played Friday, September 23rd
Drew Pomeranz @HOU

R.A. Dickey vs. PHI

“Stream Pies” Recommendation Results for 2011
66 Wins (180 starts), 1,096.0 IP, 4.17 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, 6.21 K/9