Pictured: Clayton Kershaw and someone who represents the rest of MLB pitchers.
Photo Credit: Vinscullyismyhomeboy.com

It's that time. Starbonell urged me to name this Aching for Clayton, but his (obsessive) feelings for all things American Idol will not affect my writing. We're ranking the top 20 Starting Pitchers for the 2012 fantasy baseball season. You can find SP 21-40 here [link], SP 41-60 here [link] and SP 61-80+ here [link]. And go.

Brett Lawrie: Chairman of the Do Work Committee
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

Third base is normally considered a shallow fantasy position, but that notion is being turned on its head this year. Not only is the position top-heavy, but there is actually some length with the top 15 or 16 options all being starter-worthy fantasy plays. Granted, after you get past the first three players, you encounter a slew of dudes with question marks. Still, this is the deepest the position has been for some time.

This may take some getting used to. Almost like trying to come to grips with the fact that, after careful consideration, you’d actually bang Snooki. There may be several stages to go through before you finally reach “acceptance,” but luckily, you have your boy Dudley Do Work here to guide you. I’ve ranked 52 third basemen in this edition of “Tiers, Not Fears,” so breathe easy homie. We got you.

More after the jump:

"When the going gets tough
And the stomach acids flow
The cold wind of conformity
Is nipping at your nose
Some trendy new atrocity
Has brought you to your knees
Come with us, we'll sail the seas of cheese."

Could Primus have better described the feeling of being snaked on your favorite sleeper? I'm pretty sure Les Claypool was inspired to write this diddy when someone pirated Madison Bumgarner from him at the end of Round Seven. If your hopes rise and fall like the tides during any kind of fantasy draft; rest assure, there are plenty of fish in the seas of cheese. Let's take a peak at the plethora of pitching to be found after your league mates bum rush Madison. Jump with us.

If you were wondering what Yu Darvish's ceiling looks like, this is it.
Photo Credit: This place.

We're getting close (sniff sniff). I can smell Clayton Kershaw's beard from here. We're one installment away. Today we're talking Starting Pitchers 21 through 40. You can view 41-60 here and 61-80+ here. After the jump, SP rankings and projections.

PS- you can thank me for not using this picture that Starbonell insisted upon.

Continuing with the countdown to Kershaw. Starting Pitchers 61 through 80+ can be found here. Starting Pitchers 41 through 60 can be found after the jump. And go.

You’ll be sweating Dee’s Nuts
Photo Credit: bridgetds

There’s no getting around it: the shortstop position is shallow as hell. Fantasy owners are forced to either overpay based on position scarcity, or take their chances with a cheap scrub. Most people in your fantasy league will not be happy with their SS, and they might even have one of the best options (see: Hanley Ramirez’s 2011). Think about it, people are happily spending fourth round picks on three-category players (and two-category killers) like Elvis Andrus, solely because he plays at short. That’s f’ing ridiculous. You may be thinking, “Okay Starbonell, we know you have some amazing strategy sure to help us win! Why, a fantasy baseball demi-god like yourself probably has all sorts of neat tricks up their Armani crafted sleeves!”

Well, um, not really. Here’s the deal, I’m going into my auctions/drafts with the mindset that I’m coming away with one of three players: Troy Tulowitzki, Dee Gordon, or Emilio Bonifacio. Tulowitzki is the elite guy, Gordon is the player who gives you the most bang for your buck, and Bonifacio is the cheaper alternative I’ll have to settle for if I don’t end up with the first two. I may be forced to overpay for Gordon or Bonifacio depending on the circumstances, but it’s worth it. Everyone else is too expensive or too shitty for my taste.

That may not be the ground-breaking analysis you are looking for, but have you seen the players at this position? Trust me, you do not want to be in a spot where you are spending all season looking for an upgrade at SS. Don’t believe me? Take a gander at the shortstops of your league champions from years past. Don’t see too many wack players there now do you?

“Tier’s, Not Fears” continues after the jump:

"Don't call me Edison. I may have invented the Wild Pitch, but my name still has two N's in it." Photo Credit: Wknight94

It's that time of year. Fantasy Baseball is open for registration. Normally I'd have eight leagues set up by now, but fantasy baseball and I will be taking a breather; we're getting a temporary separation. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault. I bought a huge chunk of land in the iron ore range of northern Minnesota and will spend the summer building a cabin and farming. I don't have the time to do hitter rankings while studying the various effects of mycorrhizal fungi, but lucky for you I did serious work on my Starting Pitcher projections. And with that...

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

Second base has its appeal. The soft, bag of sand-like feel. The expression on her face when you move in unannounced on her unmentionables and proceed to pounce on her like a raccoon on a rotting pork shoulder… wait, we’re talking fantasy baseball?

Oh, in that case, second base really isn’t that great. Sure it isn’t as shallow as shortstop, but it’s a position that is usually a weakness for most fantasy owners. That makes this particular edition of “Tiers, Not Fears” a must-read for those of you looking for an edge. We have 45 players on tap, so unbutton those top two buttons, because you are about to go to second base with your boy Kid Clutch.

More after the jump:

Miggy Smalls is top dog thanks to his 3B eligibility
Photo Credit: Cbl62

Normally, the term "first base" is synonymous with "failure" for handsome sooth-sayers like myself. Yet when we are talking fantasy baseball, the word takes on a more positive connotation. First base is deep; always has been. You are pretty much guaranteed elite power numbers from the top six, and potential 30 HR hitters are littered throughout the tiers. For that reason, we've upped the ante. We're covering 61 first baseman in this edition of "Tiers, Not Fears." You’re welcome.

More after the jump:

Get used to seeing Hanson clutching his arm
Photo Credit: Chrisjnelson

With football in the rear-view mirror, it’s time to get back to the man’s game: fantasy baseball. Like its real life counterpart, fantasy baseball is a long and grueling season, and injuries are inevitable. Knowing which players to gamble on and which guys to stay away from can make a huge difference come draft day. Luckily for you, that’s where I come in. Welcome to the Don’s Do-Not-Trust List (DDNTL): 2012 Fantasy Baseball Draft Edition.

I’m going to address a number of players that have injury question marks and give you my take on whether or not you can trust them to stay on the field consistently. If there’s a player you’d like to hear about that I didn’t address here, feel free to drop me an email or leave a question in the comments section. I’ll hook a brother (or sister) up. Pay attention kids, time to be educated.

More after the jump: