Photo Credits: Keith Allison and bridgetds

Yo, you smell that? It ain’t pigs feet. Smell it again. Nope, it’s not succotash. Give it one more whiff. Yeah, you know what it is. It’s another piping hot edition of “Beef: The Series.” The shortstop position is full of pratfalls, but Starbonell and Justin Occhionero are waging war over two popular players fantasy owners are fawning over.

Let’s wipe you down, because you’re about to get a hot beef injection.

More after the jump:

Bros Before Hos’
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

Busts: nobody wants them. Have a couple of overpriced scrubs on your roster, and it could be the difference between first and sixth place. Fortunately, the crew at Sons of Roto have compiled their “favorite” busts for the 2012 season in one easy-to-consume post. You’re welcome.

More after the jump:

Duda Math. Lucas is Legit.
Photo Credit: slgckgc

The word “sleeper” means different things to different people. Some think a sleeper is a very cheap fantasy player that could provide great value. Others think it is simply a player who is undervalued. Still others think it’s those crusty things your eyes get when you first wake up. Regardless of your definition, the Sons of Roto crew has compiled a list a sleepers for your consumption. Open wide suckas.

More after the jump:

We drop dollars on bitches heads.

That's right, back-to-back auction pieces. Justin and I are the Bash Brothers of Sons of Roto. I am Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire, Justin is Ozzie Canseco. Because every auction draft is different, from the unique tastes each of manager to the personalized nomination order, we realize there are many ways to come out on top. And thus my take on how to kill an auction bird.

Money Owns This Town
Photo Credit: J.J.

In the realm of fantasy baseball, auction drafts are far and above the absolute best way to draft your team. They are harder, they are more exciting, and frankly, they truly allow the better owners to shine. When doing a boring old snake draft, you are forced to pick the player that falls to you at your draft spot. The only strategy one can use is to pick the best player available. That’s ridiculously easy and more boring than watching Gosford Park on repeat for nine straight days.

So, if you want to be a serious fantasy baseball player, start playing in auction draft leagues. Man up and make the jump to get the Auction Draft Manifesto:

The King Stay The King
Photo Credit: Keith Allison

What you have before you is the greatest cheat sheet for the 2012 season by the greatest mind in fantasy baseball.  The powers of this cheat sheet are rumored to carry every team that follows them to championship glory. This isn't just a cheat sheet. I actually went forward in time, and ranked every player on this list at the exact position they will finish the season in classic 5x5 mixed formats. Ay, they don't call me No-Star-Damus for nuttin'.

More after the jiz-ump:

Even this guy is mad happy Starbonell Station is back
Photo Credit: Koshyk

That's right mu'fuckas. Starbonell Station returns tomorrow night (Thursday, 7:00 PM EST) as we discuss all the players who moved from one team to another. You feel that? It's that giant boner of happiness inside you.  

Got a question for us? Call in at (347) 324-3827 or go to the link above to join us in the live chat and send your questions that way. 

Don’t engage in Storen Wars
Photo Credit: Miss Chatter

In the final installment of “Tiers, Not Fears,” we have landed at relief pitching. A lot of fantasy owners hate having to deal with closers, but not me. While you read a lot of “don’t pay for saves” idioms being thrown out there, the fact is, if you play in a league that uses closers, you HAVE to pay for saves. Me? I try to stock up on at least four (preferably five) closers on draft/auction day because saves are the easiest commodity to trade during the season.

Think about it. Pulling off trades is tough in a lot of leagues since owners engage in a pissing contest as they each try to “win” the trade. When saves are involved, however, you cut through the shit. Saves are the one stat any owner can sell as a way to gain more points. There are only so many dudes getting saves, and everyone knows that. I’m not saying hitch your wagon to a bunch of high-priced closers, but just cast a wide net.

Sure there is a ton of turnover at the position, you will probably watch at least one of your closers shit the bed or get hurt at some point. That’s even more of a reason to pick up a bunch of ninth inning options in your drafts and auctions. Trying to scour the waiver wire for saves is a frustrating endeavor in competitive leagues, as all the best handcuffs and even the short-term closers are all rostered. You become a slave to fantasy news information sites, looking for every edge you can get. Then you end up picking up, like, eight relievers in the hopes that you can scrap up enough saves to stay in the race. Don’t be that guy. Suck it up, pay for saves, and win your goddamn league.

More after the jump:

No thanks
Photo Credit: Red3biggs

It’s no secret that there are a lot of great fantasy options in the outfield. The position is deep as hell, which is why I always tell people not to go too crazy overvaluing the top OFs. Sure there’s something comforting about selecting Matt Kemp or Ryan Braun with your first round pick knowing that you will get dynamite production, but doing so comes at a cost to the rest of your roster. Let’s put it this way, if I spend my first three picks on a SS, 2B, and 3B, and wait until the last three rounds to create my outfield, I can still yield a competitive team. Show me a fantasy owner who goes all OF early, and I’ll show you a fantasy owner who has more gaping holes than a gaggle of freshly DP’d porn stars.

On the flip side, the depth of the OF position presents a lot of intriguing possibilities in the mid-to-late rounds. That is why we have 128 players ranked for this edition of “Tiers, Not Fears.” I hope you brought a bar of soap, because it’s about to get real dirty.

More after the jump:

What My Draft Room Looks Like
Photo Credit: D.H. Parks

Team names. Everyone wants the best one in their league, but maybe your rival owners are more clever and handsome than you are. No worries. You can borrow some Sons of Roto swag by picking one of these uniquely crafted fantasy baseball team names. You’re welcome.

More after the jump: